Why I Chose To Get a Spade Tattoo on My Forearm

I told everyone I was fine. And I would point to all the shit I was doing - teaching myself photography and photoshop. I was blogging a ton and getting featured on other sites (albeit unpaid) etc. But everyone wanted to know what was the plan. How I was going to make money? It was and is a valid question. I didn’t have an answer and I felt completely useless. Read more to learn why I chose a spade to get tattooed on my forearm.

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Learning to Walk Away From Guys Who Are Just Not That Into Me

I am embarrassed to admit how many men I allowed in my life (and back in, and back in) who I knew were assholes but I thought if they just liked me enough, they would change. I was so nervous that no one else would ever show me a shred of affection that I convinced myself that terrible men were decent, kind human beings worth my time. Read more about how I learned to walk away.

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I Have Something to Say

I’ve always admired my dad’s successful career. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes me different than my dad. How did our paths turn out so differently? I’ve had plenty of opportunities that should have allowed me to climb a ladder. Why didn’t they work for me? Why did they always feel wrong? Am I flawed? Or do I just have something to say?

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I am Lucky

I am so unbelievably lucky. I will never have to write a letter to a senator telling them that the nominee they are about to consider had molested in me my sleep. I will never have to testify during a Supreme Court nomination hearing and retell my story of being sexually assaulted by my babysitter. Yes, I am lucky.

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catching my breath while running

What no one tells you about being a survivor of sexual assault and sharing your story, you are constantly catching your breath while running as fast as you can. When you are public about this experience, you will get an onslaught of emotions from others - friends, family, strangers. This is the story of how I dealt with some of the added pressure.

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daydream dating

I have not had a lot of boyfriends in my life. But I’ve had thousands of crushes, who I have convinced myself that they are the one. But it’s not real, and I know this, because I don’t know these men. I know things about them. I think about what I’ve learned about them and I make them fit into what I want in life and what I want from them.

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On The Run: Connection and Community

I have moved around a lot in my life and I’ve always said I don’t have a hometown. Throughout my life, I have moved around a lot. Throughout my whole life. I think it’s something like 25 apartments/houses, spread throughout 10 cities, five states, and two countries. It’s been exciting but I want community. And I found that in Cleveland. But now I might move.

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the plus one: one woman's search to find a wedding date

Obviously, I love weddings. I love an open bar, and a dance floor, and getting dressed up and feeling fancy. But one thing I hate: finding a date. I’m not good at it. And that might be largely due to the fact that most men in my life are keeping me warm, in case they feel like hanging out, once a moon cycle. In this essay, I describe my complicated relationship with weddings, dating, and my own independence.

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rubbing my scars: a story of surviving sexual assault

Trigger warning: This post contains graphic content of sexual assault and sexual abuse against a child. For a long time, I’ve thought about sharing my story of sexual assault in writing. Well today, I’m doing it. I am nervous (as fuck does not begin to cover it). But I am mostly proud and feel in control of my story for the first time in my life.

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